BREAKING: Trump’s New Plan to ‘Fix’ the Government

BREAKING: Trump’s New Plan to ‘Fix’ the Government—Fire Everyone and Hope for the Best

Welp, the White House just made an offer: Leave your federal job now, and we’ll pay you seven months’ salary. Sounds generous—until you realize it’s basically a government-wide eviction notice.

Trump is calling this an "overhaul" of the government. Translation? Get out, and don’t let the door hit you on the way to filing for unemployment.

They’re also demanding that all federal employees return to the office full-time. Because nothing says “efficient governance” like forcing people to sit in traffic for two hours just to send emails from a cubicle.

With over 3 million federal employees, this is one of the biggest shake-ups in U.S. history. But don’t worry—Trump has a long track record of successfully running things! Just ask his six bankrupt companies, the ghost town that was Trump University, or any of his unpaid contractors.

But hey, who needs experienced government workers when you can replace them with unpaid interns and a couple of Trump’s golf buddies?

Good luck, America.