BUD LIGHT WANTS TO BE MORE AMERICAN THAN EVER—BECAUSE ‘DOMESTIC’ JUST ISN’T PATRIOTIC ENOUGH!

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BUD LIGHT WANTS TO BE MORE AMERICAN THAN EVER—BECAUSE ‘DOMESTIC’ JUST ISN’T PATRIOTIC ENOUGH!

In a move that screams red, white, and brewed, the CEO of Anheuser-Busch is demanding that bars and restaurants stop calling Bud, Miller, and Coors “domestic” beers and instead refer to them as American—because nothing says freedom like a mandatory rebrand.

The company even fired off a letter to its distributors across the nation, asking for their support (translation: compliance) in pushing this new patriotic terminology. The timing is impeccable, considering the current administration’s love affair with nationalism. Why stop at flag-waving when you can sip nationalism straight from the tap?

But wait, there’s more! This isn’t just about good ol’ American pride—this is corporate warfare. By ditching “domestic,” U.S. beer brands are setting their sights on so-called “premium” imports like Modelo and Heineken. Because, apparently, foreign beer infiltrated the language and tricked people into using the word “domestic” in the first place. Subversive!

The CEO even argued that Americans don’t drive a “domestic truck”—they drive an American truck. Which is an interesting take, considering many so-called “American” vehicles are made in Mexico, Canada, or even overseas. Kind of like how Anheuser-Busch brews Stella Artois right here in St. Louis but still markets it as an import. So… will Stella suddenly become an American beer now, or does the patriotism stop where the premium pricing starts?

At the end of the day, this is branding disguised as patriotism—because what’s more American than selling nationalism in a bottle?