Newsmax Valued Higher Than Reality Itself in Two-Day MAGA Miracle

Newsmax Valued Higher Than Reality Itself in Two-Day MAGA Miracle

Because who needs fundamentals when you’ve got delusion and a ticker symbol?

Wall Street just witnessed what may go down as the most spectacular cable-news-to-pump-and-dump pipeline in American history.

Newsmax — yes, that Newsmax — your uncle’s favorite channel to yell at instead of going to therapy, just IPO'd at $10. Cool. Sensible. Dying cable news in 2025, not exactly a hot commodity.

Then… It happened.

Two days. $234 a share. A 2,000% spike.

Newsmax is now allegedly worth $30 billion.For context:

That’s double what Rupert Murdoch’s entire media empire is worth.

That’s 176 times what Newsmax made in revenue last year.

And let’s not forget — they lost $72 million doing it.

That’s right. A niche, seventh-place news channel with fewer viewers than most YouTube vloggers is now priced like it’s the next Apple.

What does this mean?

Well, it looks a whole lot like a familiar conservative finance ritual:

Go public.

MAGA fans pour in like it’s a patriotic duty.

Stock skyrockets based on vibes and a deep distrust of "mainstream markets."

Executives like CEO Christopher Ruddy get cartoonishly rich.

Retail investors left holding the bag get Fox Newsed and fleeced.

Same grift, different ticker.

This is Truth Social x10, but with worse production value.

The most impressive part? Conservatives keep falling for the same scam — invest in their feelings, cash out their retirement. The grift’s been upgraded from selling gold bars and prepper buckets to inflated IPOs with cable news logos on them.

So here’s a wild idea:

Maybe a company shouldn’t be worth $30B if it spends half its airtime wondering if the moon landing was fake?