They’re Building Prisons Based on Third Graders’ Reading Scores—And You Thought It Couldn’t Get Worse!

They’re Building Prisons Based on Third Graders’ Reading Scores—And You Thought It Couldn’t Get Worse!

One of the reasons some folks will never forgive this country is because of stories like this: A law school hopeful once asked the president of their university for a letter of recommendation. During their chat, the president hit them with a “fun fact” that was about as fun as a root canal.

“Do you know how prisons decide how many cells to build?” the president asked.

The student, thinking it was based on poverty stats or crime rates, gave their best guess.

“Close,” the president replied. “They look at third graders’ reading levels. Every child reading below grade level? There’s basically a cell waiting for them.”

That’s right, folks—the school-to-prison pipeline isn’t just a metaphor, it’s a business model. Forget investing in schools, reading programs, or early intervention. Nope, let’s just count struggling 8-year-olds and plan prison construction accordingly.

And while billionaires buy superyachts, and politicians throw tax cuts around like confetti, kids who can’t read in third grade are being statistically earmarked for incarceration. But hey, priorities, right?

So next time someone says, “Why are you so mad at this country?” just remind them that the system has a literal blueprint for failure, based on the innocent struggles of children.