Trump Deports Mormon PhD Student for Catching Too Many Fish — Jesus Christ Also Under Investigation

Trump Deports Mormon PhD Student for Catching Too Many Fish — Jesus Christ Also Under Investigation

Donald Trump's immigration crusade has entered its final form: kicking out a Japanese PhD student from Brigham Young University over a fishing violation.

Yes. Fishing.

Yes. Six years ago.

Yes. With his church group.

Yes. In Utah.

Meet Suguru Ondan, a BYU doctoral student, father of five, and apparently public enemy number one — all because he accidentally caught too many fish on a church outing.

He’s now being deported by a government that’s using AI-powered systems to comb through state, local, and federal records in search of petty infractions to eject immigrants.

Catch too many trout in 2018?

Congrats, you're now a national security threat.

This isn't a joke.

This is literally what they're doing.

And it’s not just any immigrant — it’s a Japanese PhD student studying in one of the most conservative, church-backed schools in the country, raising five kids, and living quietly with zero criminal activity outside of loving Jesus and enjoying a lake day.

Trump’s allies also previously pressured Harvard to turn over disciplinary records of international students. Because nothing says national priority like weaponizing student conduct codes and fish counts.

At this point, it’s clear:

This isn’t about keeping “bad guys” out.

It’s about finding any reason to purge immigrants — even the ones with degrees, families, and fishing poles.

And honestly, if this continues, someone better warn Jesus.

Because rumor has it, He also handed out fish without a license.