"Vulture Capitalism: The Art of Buying, Slashing, and Destroying Businesses for Fun and Profit!"

"Vulture Capitalism: The Art of Buying, Slashing, and Destroying Businesses for Fun and Profit!"

Okay, buckle up, because you’re about to learn about vulture capitalism—and trust me, it’s way more sinister than it sounds. No, we’re not talking about venture capital where tech bros get rich off the next big app. We’re talking about those creepy financial vultures that swoop in to destroy businesses for profit.

Here’s the deal: Imagine a private equity firm wants to buy your local sandwich shop. Do they use their own money? Ha! Nope. They borrow money from someone else, do a leveraged buyout, and then place all the debt on the restaurant, not themselves. Genius, right? Not for the restaurant though. They’re now sinking under the weight of debt.

Now the fun begins. They start slashing costs like there’s no tomorrow. Here’s an example: I worked at a Mexican restaurant in my twenties when a private equity firm bought it. First thing they did? "Cut those avocado costs!"—and boom, out went the fresh guac and in came giant tubs of pre-mashed guacamole. YUM. (Not.)

And if that wasn’t enough, they fired all the long-term employees who had been loyal for years, replaced them with cheaper, less experienced workers, and voila!—restaurant quality? Down the drain. Customers? Not so happy.

But they weren’t done yet. They closed down underperforming stores—no problem, we’re just getting leaner!. Meanwhile, the brand’s presence in the community? Shrinking. The cherry on top: outrageous management fees and humongous dividends for the private equity execs. Oh, and they also sold the property the restaurant owned to... themselves or a company they’re connected to. Now, the restaurant has to pay higher rent for the same property. Genius, right?

What these vultures are doing isn’t “building sustainable businesses.” They’re stripping businesses to the bone, borrowing money to buy them, saddling them with debt, then running them into the ground while they make billions in profit. It’s a business model that’s all about destruction, not creation.

And yet, somehow, people still think businessmen make great presidents. Well, here’s a hot take: These people aren’t trying to make anything better. They’re just trying to wreck things for their own gain.

It’s almost like our political system is built on the same principles: strip the country of what makes it good, bankrupt it, and leave the people paying the bill. So, the next time you hear “businessmen make the best leaders,” just remember—sometimes the vultures are also leaders. But at whose expense?

Stay woke. Smash that follow. See ya later!